I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
