Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
pray to the hookup gods
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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