i just identified you from a description of your pipe
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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