I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
