i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
