Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i believe in u and ur pee
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
