Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I am available for nakedness
Pants are for mortals
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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