My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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