So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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