yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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