I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
