It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize