in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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