Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
