i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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