yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
