He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
