Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
