My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
