so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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