I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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