Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
either way he was missing a nipple.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
