i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
