There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
