i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
handjob tips. give me some.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
