Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
