Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
