His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
