I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
