why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
