oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
