Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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