Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
