I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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