I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
