Screwed.edu
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
