like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize