I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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