I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
