I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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