living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Let's paint friendship bongs
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
