So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize