Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize