scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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