i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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