can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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