How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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