There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
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