Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i think i have two assholes
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
