So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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