it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
