Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize