Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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