Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
