People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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