That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
