i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We are two peas in an std pod
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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