so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
