i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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