people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
