somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
