I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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