Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I want a musical about memes.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
