Umm I'm too high to move.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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