After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
