her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
