remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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