oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize