Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I look better un-naked...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
