you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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